Is Anyone Really Listening?

How often do we really listen to someone else’s feelings? And for that matter do we ever really listen to our own. Have you ever had anyone REALLY listen to your feelings? I don’t mean hear them, but listen to them to such an extent that they really get YOU as a person. And have you ever REALLY listened to someone else’s feelings. Have you ever listened to their feelings to such a depth that you understood them as you have never done before?

We did a little experiment in class tonight, where we partnered up with a fellow student. We then took turns talking about our feelings for fifteen minutes. During that time, the other person was to listen only. Just listen, no comments, feedback, advice or any of the other verbal vomit that we normally give back.

First of all, I had a hard time talking at first without expecting a response. My partner experienced the same thing. We were so used to being interrupted by advice or comments that it felt unnatural. But once we got over that we actually learned something about each other.

Here I am, a 55 year old, fairly conservative man, talking to a young lady who has just been released from prison, who I had just meet and who is gay. She told me afterward that she felt that since she only started class two days ago, she didn’t think she would be able to share or find anything in common with me, but was surprised to find differently. I was just as surprised.

Without any of the back and forth of “normal” conversation we were able to open up, learn about each and learn how each other actually “felt” about things.
Listening, really listening to each other is probably the most powerful gifts we can give each other.

Try it sometime!!!

God Bless

James McPherson

Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org