The Face of The Monster

Haven't been able to post for awhile, but now I am back. I was recently diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and ended up in the hospital when the physical symptoms of my stress got the best of me.

In short I had been hit with the perfect storm of PTSD. Over the last year I have been running a sober living house in downtown Riverside. It was a very hostile, toxic work environment due to the owner's own issues. I held on as long as I could as I felt I was helping men whose lives had been taken over by drug and/or alcohol dependence. And I was making a difference. There was much recovery going on.

However once I was away from that situation, old memories of my childhood began to come back to haunt me. And then there was the class I was taking for my Alcohol & Drug Counseling. We were taking a close look at our life, where it had been and where it could go. I became totally non-functional.

All my life I have suffered from deep depression. After a six month long manic stage in 2007 I was diagnosed as having a Bipolar disorder. I was told that this was due to a chemical imbalance in my brain and that medication was the answer. While the medications helped somewhat, the pain, the depression and the inability to live a normal, happy life never came about.

Sometime ago I had been told that I may be suffering from PTSD. At the time, I could not or would not listen.
After getting out of the hospital, I Googled a PTSD Assessment and after taking it score a 71 our of 85 possible points. After taking this to a psychiatrist and being assessed further, it was determined that I indeed from suffering from PTSD. One would think that being diagnoses with PTSD would be a horrible thing. And it can be. Yet I found it strangely comforting.

You see, I now had a face on the monster that had made my life so miserable. I realized that there was an answer. Not an easy answer, but an answer. It would take a lot of work. At times it would be very painful. Yet through counseling, support groups and doing various written exercises I could finally process the horrible memories and learn to live a normal life. I might for the first time even have a social life.

This is going to be a tough journey I will be taking, yet if I do not go on this journey I will never be able to live the life that I deserve. I will never be an effective counselor to those addicts and alcoholics that I want so passionately to help.

So stay tuned as I share my journey. My hope & prayer is that someone will gain the knowledge and courage to deal with their own personal monster.

There is hope. There is an answer. Stay tuned and follow along as I discover and share those answers.

God Bless

James McPherson

Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org

And to those of you that may be suffering from PTSD, I urge you to get assessed by a doctor who specializes in PTSD.

Small Change To The Website

Just made a small chance to the Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org website. Took of the Google Web Search box and replaced it with one from freefind. This tool will allow you to search for content on the site.

As always, any tips on resources and other feedback is very welcome.

Been in the hospital for a few days so I will have lots to share in the next few days.

God Bless

James McPherson

Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org

Got To Do Some Laundry!

Yes, I know that this should be a simple thing and not something to get excited about, but when you lose the ability to do the simple things in life, it is exciting when you get a chance.

Anyway, on the 1st and 3rd Saturday of every month two young men go the the Launderland on University Ave armed with quarters, soap and dryer sheets. Every homeless person that shows up at 7AM gets a chance to done a load of laundry.

So to these two young men and to Lauderland, I say thanks. It is the real life angels such as these two who make this world a much better place and let those who are down and out gain a little hope and respect back.

God Bless,

James McPherson

Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org

Who Are The Homeless?

Have not posted for a few days. Living on the streets and going to school is difficult and has takes a lot of emotional, spiritual and physical energy.

Yet I am not alone. Many of the residents in the Path of Life shelter are either going to school or working. The high cost of housing and utilities along with other issues such as coming up with the deposit or having bad credit make it almost impossible for them to find housing.

Quite a few are what I call the "middle class homeless" Until recently they were living the American dream. They had good jobs, nice cars and the other rewards that come with working hard. Now they are living the American nightmare.

This economic meltdown is not one of just statistics. The media and much of society are concerned with the number of foreclosures and the jobless rate. This is also a meltdown of people's lives. Many have lost everything. Families have been lost and marriages broken up due to financial difficulties. Some are forced to live with relatives. Others are living in their cars or staying at the local homeless shelter. Seldom do we hear stories of these struggles or the courage people have shown. And yes, there are stories are recovery and hope.

I urge you to think of this next time you see a homeless person on the streets. That person could have been your neighbor, co-worker or someone you went to church with.

It is time that we as a society quit pushing this issue under the rug. It is time that as a compassionate society we really up to the plate and help people put their lives together. And it is time for the churches of this great country to start doing the job and the mission they were given by God.

God Bless

James McPherson

Riverside-Resources.org