Is Anyone Really Listening?

How often do we really listen to someone else’s feelings? And for that matter do we ever really listen to our own. Have you ever had anyone REALLY listen to your feelings? I don’t mean hear them, but listen to them to such an extent that they really get YOU as a person. And have you ever REALLY listened to someone else’s feelings. Have you ever listened to their feelings to such a depth that you understood them as you have never done before?

We did a little experiment in class tonight, where we partnered up with a fellow student. We then took turns talking about our feelings for fifteen minutes. During that time, the other person was to listen only. Just listen, no comments, feedback, advice or any of the other verbal vomit that we normally give back.

First of all, I had a hard time talking at first without expecting a response. My partner experienced the same thing. We were so used to being interrupted by advice or comments that it felt unnatural. But once we got over that we actually learned something about each other.

Here I am, a 55 year old, fairly conservative man, talking to a young lady who has just been released from prison, who I had just meet and who is gay. She told me afterward that she felt that since she only started class two days ago, she didn’t think she would be able to share or find anything in common with me, but was surprised to find differently. I was just as surprised.

Without any of the back and forth of “normal” conversation we were able to open up, learn about each and learn how each other actually “felt” about things.
Listening, really listening to each other is probably the most powerful gifts we can give each other.

Try it sometime!!!

God Bless

James McPherson

Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org

Well, I'm glad that's over!!!

Been a bit too busy lately to do much of anything but go to school and deal with Mulberry House. Most of the guys here at Mulberry work their tails off for their recovery, but every once in a while we get one of two who are a handful. And we have had a few lately.

Not matter what you do, you can only offer a fellow addict the direction and support so they can work on their own recovery. And it's heartbreaking when you see someone who you think is going to make it, give up on themselves and go back to the mud pit. Others for whatever reason don't really want recovery, but will pretend to in order to get shelter, food or whatever else need they want filled taken care of. Even those latter though, I hope and pray may have learned something in the short time they have been around.

As far as school goes, I am attending night classes to become an Alcohol & Drug Counselor. Classes are very fast paced, but I'm learning a lot. The knowledge I am gaining can be used now at Mulberry House and in the future no matter what direction I take my career. It just blows my mind at how prevalent alcohol and chemical dependency is in the United States. And even more mind blowing, is how little our government and society seem to care. Instead of assisting men and women who so desperately need help, it seems we would rather spend the money, lock them up in prison and let everyone suffer in the process.

Anyhow, that's my two cents for what it's worth.

God Bless

James McPherson

Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org

How much is a good resource worth?

If it is to be valued by the changes that it can make in people's lives, then the Homelessness Prevention and Rapid Re-Housing that Riverside, CA has in conjuntion with HUD is priceless.

I have had the opportunity to refer several men & women to this program. One woman, who was caught up in a seemingly hopeless living situation that would eventually lead to relapse, now has hope. Better yet, very soon, she will have an apartment of her own. She will be able to continue her schooling and she will be able to continue working on and maintain her sobriety of five years.

God Bless

James McPherson

Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org

Here we go, off to the races! Or why I started this website!

Resources, resources, resources! In real estate they call it location, location, location. Either way, they are the secret of success in their respective fields.

If you are in a helping profession, trying to help family or friends or need the help yourself, having the right resources to go to is the difference between total frustration and being able to make a difference in your life or someone else’s.

This is a lesson I have learned over the years of working with the homeless, the addicted and those who just are in need. And I have been frustrated in trying to find resources. Or worse, one I find a good resource, I lost that flyer, that piece of paper I wrote that down on.

This is why I have decided to start Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org. I currently run a very successful sober living home in Riverside, CA  (http://www.got-recovery.org/) and one of the reasons it is so is that we are able to help our guys in finding the resources they need.

I am also studying to become an alcohol and drug counselor. So the motive for this project is first of all a very selfish one. But I would also like to see this become a collaborative effort of everyone in the recovery community.

So if you a professional, a church worker or just someone who needs help, this site is for you. If you know of any resource that should be here email me at jrmcphersonjr@ymail.com. Working together, I hope we can make this a truly valuable resource for the Riverside, CA recovery community.

God Bless,
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org