Haven't been able to post for awhile, but now I am back. I was recently diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and ended up in the hospital when the physical symptoms of my stress got the best of me.
In short I had been hit with the perfect storm of PTSD. Over the last year I have been running a sober living house in downtown Riverside. It was a very hostile, toxic work environment due to the owner's own issues. I held on as long as I could as I felt I was helping men whose lives had been taken over by drug and/or alcohol dependence. And I was making a difference. There was much recovery going on.
However once I was away from that situation, old memories of my childhood began to come back to haunt me. And then there was the class I was taking for my Alcohol & Drug Counseling. We were taking a close look at our life, where it had been and where it could go. I became totally non-functional.
All my life I have suffered from deep depression. After a six month long manic stage in 2007 I was diagnosed as having a Bipolar disorder. I was told that this was due to a chemical imbalance in my brain and that medication was the answer. While the medications helped somewhat, the pain, the depression and the inability to live a normal, happy life never came about.
Sometime ago I had been told that I may be suffering from PTSD. At the time, I could not or would not listen.
After getting out of the hospital, I Googled a PTSD Assessment and after taking it score a 71 our of 85 possible points. After taking this to a psychiatrist and being assessed further, it was determined that I indeed from suffering from PTSD. One would think that being diagnoses with PTSD would be a horrible thing. And it can be. Yet I found it strangely comforting.
You see, I now had a face on the monster that had made my life so miserable. I realized that there was an answer. Not an easy answer, but an answer. It would take a lot of work. At times it would be very painful. Yet through counseling, support groups and doing various written exercises I could finally process the horrible memories and learn to live a normal life. I might for the first time even have a social life.
This is going to be a tough journey I will be taking, yet if I do not go on this journey I will never be able to live the life that I deserve. I will never be an effective counselor to those addicts and alcoholics that I want so passionately to help.
So stay tuned as I share my journey. My hope & prayer is that someone will gain the knowledge and courage to deal with their own personal monster.
There is hope. There is an answer. Stay tuned and follow along as I discover and share those answers.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
And to those of you that may be suffering from PTSD, I urge you to get assessed by a doctor who specializes in PTSD.
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org is a web based portal for those who need to locate resources to assist themselves or others in their journey towards recovery from drug and/or alcohol dependency, homelessness or just the bumps we are experience in our lives.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Small Change To The Website
Just made a small chance to the Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org website. Took of the Google Web Search box and replaced it with one from freefind. This tool will allow you to search for content on the site.
As always, any tips on resources and other feedback is very welcome.
Been in the hospital for a few days so I will have lots to share in the next few days.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
As always, any tips on resources and other feedback is very welcome.
Been in the hospital for a few days so I will have lots to share in the next few days.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Monday, October 4, 2010
Got To Do Some Laundry!
Yes, I know that this should be a simple thing and not something to get excited about, but when you lose the ability to do the simple things in life, it is exciting when you get a chance.
Anyway, on the 1st and 3rd Saturday of every month two young men go the the Launderland on University Ave armed with quarters, soap and dryer sheets. Every homeless person that shows up at 7AM gets a chance to done a load of laundry.
So to these two young men and to Lauderland, I say thanks. It is the real life angels such as these two who make this world a much better place and let those who are down and out gain a little hope and respect back.
God Bless,
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Anyway, on the 1st and 3rd Saturday of every month two young men go the the Launderland on University Ave armed with quarters, soap and dryer sheets. Every homeless person that shows up at 7AM gets a chance to done a load of laundry.
So to these two young men and to Lauderland, I say thanks. It is the real life angels such as these two who make this world a much better place and let those who are down and out gain a little hope and respect back.
God Bless,
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Friday, October 1, 2010
Who Are The Homeless?
Have not posted for a few days. Living on the streets and going to school is difficult and has takes a lot of emotional, spiritual and physical energy.
Yet I am not alone. Many of the residents in the Path of Life shelter are either going to school or working. The high cost of housing and utilities along with other issues such as coming up with the deposit or having bad credit make it almost impossible for them to find housing.
Quite a few are what I call the "middle class homeless" Until recently they were living the American dream. They had good jobs, nice cars and the other rewards that come with working hard. Now they are living the American nightmare.
This economic meltdown is not one of just statistics. The media and much of society are concerned with the number of foreclosures and the jobless rate. This is also a meltdown of people's lives. Many have lost everything. Families have been lost and marriages broken up due to financial difficulties. Some are forced to live with relatives. Others are living in their cars or staying at the local homeless shelter. Seldom do we hear stories of these struggles or the courage people have shown. And yes, there are stories are recovery and hope.
I urge you to think of this next time you see a homeless person on the streets. That person could have been your neighbor, co-worker or someone you went to church with.
It is time that we as a society quit pushing this issue under the rug. It is time that as a compassionate society we really up to the plate and help people put their lives together. And it is time for the churches of this great country to start doing the job and the mission they were given by God.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Resources.org
Yet I am not alone. Many of the residents in the Path of Life shelter are either going to school or working. The high cost of housing and utilities along with other issues such as coming up with the deposit or having bad credit make it almost impossible for them to find housing.
Quite a few are what I call the "middle class homeless" Until recently they were living the American dream. They had good jobs, nice cars and the other rewards that come with working hard. Now they are living the American nightmare.
This economic meltdown is not one of just statistics. The media and much of society are concerned with the number of foreclosures and the jobless rate. This is also a meltdown of people's lives. Many have lost everything. Families have been lost and marriages broken up due to financial difficulties. Some are forced to live with relatives. Others are living in their cars or staying at the local homeless shelter. Seldom do we hear stories of these struggles or the courage people have shown. And yes, there are stories are recovery and hope.
I urge you to think of this next time you see a homeless person on the streets. That person could have been your neighbor, co-worker or someone you went to church with.
It is time that we as a society quit pushing this issue under the rug. It is time that as a compassionate society we really up to the plate and help people put their lives together. And it is time for the churches of this great country to start doing the job and the mission they were given by God.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Resources.org
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
A Great Resource For Injured Marines
A few months ago, one of my residents was a Marine who had been injured in Iraq. While he had been rated at 80% disable, due to a paperwork nightmare he was not able to collect his benefits. As a result he was not able to pay his contributions to the running of the house. Unless something changed quickly he was in danger of becoming yet another homeless veteran. Then he was told about a great resource for veteran Marines who had been injured. The Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund not only paid the two months he was behind, but pay the next two months rent. So if you are an injured Marine or know an injured Marine check out this website. I would like to thank all of our service men and women who have sacrificed so that we can have freedom.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Sunday, September 26, 2010
This Makes It All Worth It!
While I was on the bus today I ran into Mike who was in my sober living house a few months ago. I know he struggled at first when he left, but now has a job, apartment, girlfriend and most important of all: sobriety. In other words he is on the path to true recovery. It's not about just becoming sober, but rebuilding your entire life.
I have been through hell and back over the last year trying to help others despite being in a toxic working environment. Seeing someone like Mike succeed makes me know that on some level it was worth it.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
I have been through hell and back over the last year trying to help others despite being in a toxic working environment. Seeing someone like Mike succeed makes me know that on some level it was worth it.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Friday, September 24, 2010
Never Give Up On Someone
One of the most difficult duties of running a sober living home is dismissing someone for using. After doing so, many times I would here reports of these men passed out drunk in an alley or other signs of their continued drug addiction. Sometimes I would see them myself. Either way my heart would be broken.
I have learned a valueable lesson this week. Since becoming homeless I have run across five of these men. Even though I had felt I had failed and feared that they had given up on themselves, the seed had been planted.
Four of these men have not given up on themselves. All had relapsed and were drinking or using for a few weeks or months. Not four of them are sober again. Four of them are working their program and attending 12 step meetings.
All four thanked me and attributed there "getting it" to their stay at the sober living house. Even though they had relapsed and been dismissed from the house, they kept the positive memories of their stay there. Using these memories are finally belong to a family, being sober and starting on the journey of creating a new life for themselves, they choose to once again become sober.
This is a message for all of those alcohol and drug counselors, social workers, families and many other people who work with the chemically dependent. Don't give up! Even if it appears that they did not "get it", by your planting the proper seeds, you have influenced them in ways you may never know. In the long run, these alcoholics and addicts may finally "get it" due to your hard work. All of that time, energy and emotion you have spent on that individual was not in vain.
God Bless,
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
I have learned a valueable lesson this week. Since becoming homeless I have run across five of these men. Even though I had felt I had failed and feared that they had given up on themselves, the seed had been planted.
Four of these men have not given up on themselves. All had relapsed and were drinking or using for a few weeks or months. Not four of them are sober again. Four of them are working their program and attending 12 step meetings.
All four thanked me and attributed there "getting it" to their stay at the sober living house. Even though they had relapsed and been dismissed from the house, they kept the positive memories of their stay there. Using these memories are finally belong to a family, being sober and starting on the journey of creating a new life for themselves, they choose to once again become sober.
This is a message for all of those alcohol and drug counselors, social workers, families and many other people who work with the chemically dependent. Don't give up! Even if it appears that they did not "get it", by your planting the proper seeds, you have influenced them in ways you may never know. In the long run, these alcoholics and addicts may finally "get it" due to your hard work. All of that time, energy and emotion you have spent on that individual was not in vain.
God Bless,
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
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