A few months ago, one of my residents was a Marine who had been injured in Iraq. While he had been rated at 80% disable, due to a paperwork nightmare he was not able to collect his benefits. As a result he was not able to pay his contributions to the running of the house. Unless something changed quickly he was in danger of becoming yet another homeless veteran. Then he was told about a great resource for veteran Marines who had been injured. The Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund not only paid the two months he was behind, but pay the next two months rent. So if you are an injured Marine or know an injured Marine check out this website. I would like to thank all of our service men and women who have sacrificed so that we can have freedom.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org is a web based portal for those who need to locate resources to assist themselves or others in their journey towards recovery from drug and/or alcohol dependency, homelessness or just the bumps we are experience in our lives.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
This Makes It All Worth It!
While I was on the bus today I ran into Mike who was in my sober living house a few months ago. I know he struggled at first when he left, but now has a job, apartment, girlfriend and most important of all: sobriety. In other words he is on the path to true recovery. It's not about just becoming sober, but rebuilding your entire life.
I have been through hell and back over the last year trying to help others despite being in a toxic working environment. Seeing someone like Mike succeed makes me know that on some level it was worth it.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
I have been through hell and back over the last year trying to help others despite being in a toxic working environment. Seeing someone like Mike succeed makes me know that on some level it was worth it.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Friday, September 24, 2010
Never Give Up On Someone
One of the most difficult duties of running a sober living home is dismissing someone for using. After doing so, many times I would here reports of these men passed out drunk in an alley or other signs of their continued drug addiction. Sometimes I would see them myself. Either way my heart would be broken.
I have learned a valueable lesson this week. Since becoming homeless I have run across five of these men. Even though I had felt I had failed and feared that they had given up on themselves, the seed had been planted.
Four of these men have not given up on themselves. All had relapsed and were drinking or using for a few weeks or months. Not four of them are sober again. Four of them are working their program and attending 12 step meetings.
All four thanked me and attributed there "getting it" to their stay at the sober living house. Even though they had relapsed and been dismissed from the house, they kept the positive memories of their stay there. Using these memories are finally belong to a family, being sober and starting on the journey of creating a new life for themselves, they choose to once again become sober.
This is a message for all of those alcohol and drug counselors, social workers, families and many other people who work with the chemically dependent. Don't give up! Even if it appears that they did not "get it", by your planting the proper seeds, you have influenced them in ways you may never know. In the long run, these alcoholics and addicts may finally "get it" due to your hard work. All of that time, energy and emotion you have spent on that individual was not in vain.
God Bless,
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
I have learned a valueable lesson this week. Since becoming homeless I have run across five of these men. Even though I had felt I had failed and feared that they had given up on themselves, the seed had been planted.
Four of these men have not given up on themselves. All had relapsed and were drinking or using for a few weeks or months. Not four of them are sober again. Four of them are working their program and attending 12 step meetings.
All four thanked me and attributed there "getting it" to their stay at the sober living house. Even though they had relapsed and been dismissed from the house, they kept the positive memories of their stay there. Using these memories are finally belong to a family, being sober and starting on the journey of creating a new life for themselves, they choose to once again become sober.
This is a message for all of those alcohol and drug counselors, social workers, families and many other people who work with the chemically dependent. Don't give up! Even if it appears that they did not "get it", by your planting the proper seeds, you have influenced them in ways you may never know. In the long run, these alcoholics and addicts may finally "get it" due to your hard work. All of that time, energy and emotion you have spent on that individual was not in vain.
God Bless,
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Will Work For Laundry!!!
I go back to my Alcohol & Drug Counseling studies next Tuesday and while I am looking forward to school again, I find myself facing two seemingly simple barriers. At least they should be simple. It is amazing how much we miss those little thing in life we enjoy when they disappear.
The first thing I miss is doing laundry. Yes, clean clothes. Having absolutely no money I cannot even afford to go to the laundromat. I cannot, no make that will not go to school in filthy, smelly clothes. Accuse me of being vain if you will.
The second "little" thing is my daily shower. Unfortunately I will be in class during the only times the showers are open at the shelter. So from Monday-Thursday I will not be able to shower. Call me vain again, but I call it social responsibility. After all, would you want to sit next to someone who is filthy and smelly?
One of the most common complaints against the homeless is their smell. While many may have lost their passion for personal hygiene, most just don't have the means to get clean. There are not enough beds in our shelters to house everyone, so for those who sleep outside, there is no access to a hot shower. Also, as most of the homeless have no money they cannot go to the laundromat to was the few clothes they may have. And therefore, we as a society have to deal with filthy, smelly people. Yes, believe it or not the homeless are people. I think we as a society sometimes forget this and look upon the homeless as a statistic.
Some larger cities have daytime drop in centers for the homeless. This is usually a place where they can shower and wash their clothing. A place where they can find assistance for job searches and accessing community resources. A place to find safety. A place for a nutritious meal. A place to find refuge from the weather.
I challenge the people, and especially the churches of Riverside, CA to open such a center. If even a few of are churches got together, they would be able to find the resources to open such a center. And if they do, I will be the first in line to volunteer.
You can do this part by forwarding this message to everyone you know. All it takes is for a few of the right people to make this dream come true.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
The first thing I miss is doing laundry. Yes, clean clothes. Having absolutely no money I cannot even afford to go to the laundromat. I cannot, no make that will not go to school in filthy, smelly clothes. Accuse me of being vain if you will.
The second "little" thing is my daily shower. Unfortunately I will be in class during the only times the showers are open at the shelter. So from Monday-Thursday I will not be able to shower. Call me vain again, but I call it social responsibility. After all, would you want to sit next to someone who is filthy and smelly?
One of the most common complaints against the homeless is their smell. While many may have lost their passion for personal hygiene, most just don't have the means to get clean. There are not enough beds in our shelters to house everyone, so for those who sleep outside, there is no access to a hot shower. Also, as most of the homeless have no money they cannot go to the laundromat to was the few clothes they may have. And therefore, we as a society have to deal with filthy, smelly people. Yes, believe it or not the homeless are people. I think we as a society sometimes forget this and look upon the homeless as a statistic.
Some larger cities have daytime drop in centers for the homeless. This is usually a place where they can shower and wash their clothing. A place where they can find assistance for job searches and accessing community resources. A place to find safety. A place for a nutritious meal. A place to find refuge from the weather.
I challenge the people, and especially the churches of Riverside, CA to open such a center. If even a few of are churches got together, they would be able to find the resources to open such a center. And if they do, I will be the first in line to volunteer.
You can do this part by forwarding this message to everyone you know. All it takes is for a few of the right people to make this dream come true.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Homeless & Blind in Riverside
Was waiting in line yesterday afternoon to get into the Path of Life’s 30 day program when the Riverside Homeless Outreach Street Program brought in a man that was newly homeless. And blind.
I have met this gentleman before in some AA meetings and he is the nicest guy you would ever know. Even has a sense of humor about his blindness.
It seems that the board and care that he was living in suddenly closed with no warning and he found himself tossed out on the street. While he has SSDI and should find new housing fairly quickly in got me thinking.
There is an old adage about when you think you have it bad, someone comes along who has it worse. I could not image how scary it would be to be homeless and disabled. The streets are dangerous enough. How do you protect yourself when you are blind, deaf or suffer from any number of disabilities?
How difficult it would be to not be able to speak the language. No matter what side of the illegal immigrant issue you are on, you would have to admit that this would be a nightmare.
Anyhow, just a few thoughts for the day.
God Bless,
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
I have met this gentleman before in some AA meetings and he is the nicest guy you would ever know. Even has a sense of humor about his blindness.
It seems that the board and care that he was living in suddenly closed with no warning and he found himself tossed out on the street. While he has SSDI and should find new housing fairly quickly in got me thinking.
There is an old adage about when you think you have it bad, someone comes along who has it worse. I could not image how scary it would be to be homeless and disabled. The streets are dangerous enough. How do you protect yourself when you are blind, deaf or suffer from any number of disabilities?
How difficult it would be to not be able to speak the language. No matter what side of the illegal immigrant issue you are on, you would have to admit that this would be a nightmare.
Anyhow, just a few thoughts for the day.
God Bless,
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Monday, September 20, 2010
Being Positive When You Are Down & Out
Since 1982 I have done hundreds of hours of volunteer work with the homeless. I never in my wildest imagination thought I myself would end up joining them. And yet here I am. Due to the meltdown of the sober living house where I was, I am now homeless.
As I write this, I am at the Path of Life homeless shelter in Riverside, CA.
At first I was devastated and scared to death at the prospect of becoming homeless. Question ran through mind mind. How would I be able to attend school for alcohol and drug counseling. Would I ever be able to get off the streets. Were my dreams, hopes and passion about to be gone. How was I going to survive?
I am not going to lie and say that all of these have been answer and I can put a rosy picture on the situation. I do know though that if I can trust God and trust the people who care about me, I can through this. I do know that I will come out of this a stronger person with more compassion and wisdom of what those who are done and out are dealing with this.
So for those of you who believe in the power of prayer, I ask for and appreciate your prayers.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
As I write this, I am at the Path of Life homeless shelter in Riverside, CA.
At first I was devastated and scared to death at the prospect of becoming homeless. Question ran through mind mind. How would I be able to attend school for alcohol and drug counseling. Would I ever be able to get off the streets. Were my dreams, hopes and passion about to be gone. How was I going to survive?
I am not going to lie and say that all of these have been answer and I can put a rosy picture on the situation. I do know though that if I can trust God and trust the people who care about me, I can through this. I do know that I will come out of this a stronger person with more compassion and wisdom of what those who are done and out are dealing with this.
So for those of you who believe in the power of prayer, I ask for and appreciate your prayers.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
Sunday, September 19, 2010
How Not to Run a Sober Living House
Well they say everything must come to an end, but this one really hurts and I take it very personally. Anytime someones recovery is threatened, I take it personally.
For the last 14 months I have managed a sober living home in downtown Riverside, CA. When I took over the house it was ready to close. I was determined not to let that happen. I was successful, but now the house will be closing down due to the lack of integrity of two self-proclaimed Godly men of integrity.
What happened? The trust, respect and sense of a true family of recovery was destroyed in a very short time by one individual. The sad thing is, is that this man is a pastor.
A few months ago the owner asked his pastor to step in as a spiritual adviser. He soon made it clear that he wished to take control and we butted heads constantly. I believe that encouragement is one of the most powerful tools in helping people. He believed that letting the men know anytime they broke the slightest rule that their were not working on their recovery.
I believe that you cannot force someone into recovery or church, but through encouragement and support from the other residents in the house, they will want to find it on their own. This had been working for most of the men who came into out sober living house. He believed that you could force church and recovery down people's throats.
He broke the respect, trust and community of the house. He did this by lying and breaking promises and confidentiality. I could not believe that a pastor would choose to share with others openly what one the men had shared.
He played favorites with the residents. On a couple of occasions he allowed someone to stay in the house despite the fact their were using. We had a zero tolerance policity and the men in the house took this seriously. Before this they would come to me in private and let me know of their concerns. Now they were angry that we kept these men in the house and would no longer protect the sobriety of the house.
Several weeks ago I finally stepped down as General Manager and became a resident again. And in these few short weeks, the house went through a major meltdown. Several men moved out. Unfortunately most were the men who had been the most faithful in paying their contributions to the running of the house. Due to this they very quickly could not pay the bills.
The owner went on a tirade at our weekly house meeting and several more moved out. The house went from having 17 out of 18 beds full. While not everyone was caught up financially, we were bringing in more than enough to cover the costs of running the house. As a result only three men paid their contributions.
Now the house has three residents and the house cannot pay this months bills, much lest next months. So the owner has decided to shut down at the end of the month. Now Riverside has lost 18 beds for men to work on their recovery. That is the biggest tragedy.
Over the last 14 months I have learned a lot. A truly successful sober living house is one in which the residents, trust, respect, support and when needed hold each other accountable. That took a lot of work to create, but in the long run it was more than worth it. I got the witness many men turn their lives around and become reunited with families that had given up on them. This is the true defination of a miracle.
And while it is sad and personally devastating to me, I have to trust God that I will still be used to help those in recovery. I am about a third of the way towards completing my training to become an Alcohol and Drug Counselor. Much of what I learned running a sober living house we go with me as I begin to assist men and women. The environment may be different, but my love and passion for helping others we remain the same. I now have a better understanding of what addicts are going through and much more wisdom on how to help.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
For the last 14 months I have managed a sober living home in downtown Riverside, CA. When I took over the house it was ready to close. I was determined not to let that happen. I was successful, but now the house will be closing down due to the lack of integrity of two self-proclaimed Godly men of integrity.
What happened? The trust, respect and sense of a true family of recovery was destroyed in a very short time by one individual. The sad thing is, is that this man is a pastor.
A few months ago the owner asked his pastor to step in as a spiritual adviser. He soon made it clear that he wished to take control and we butted heads constantly. I believe that encouragement is one of the most powerful tools in helping people. He believed that letting the men know anytime they broke the slightest rule that their were not working on their recovery.
I believe that you cannot force someone into recovery or church, but through encouragement and support from the other residents in the house, they will want to find it on their own. This had been working for most of the men who came into out sober living house. He believed that you could force church and recovery down people's throats.
He broke the respect, trust and community of the house. He did this by lying and breaking promises and confidentiality. I could not believe that a pastor would choose to share with others openly what one the men had shared.
He played favorites with the residents. On a couple of occasions he allowed someone to stay in the house despite the fact their were using. We had a zero tolerance policity and the men in the house took this seriously. Before this they would come to me in private and let me know of their concerns. Now they were angry that we kept these men in the house and would no longer protect the sobriety of the house.
Several weeks ago I finally stepped down as General Manager and became a resident again. And in these few short weeks, the house went through a major meltdown. Several men moved out. Unfortunately most were the men who had been the most faithful in paying their contributions to the running of the house. Due to this they very quickly could not pay the bills.
The owner went on a tirade at our weekly house meeting and several more moved out. The house went from having 17 out of 18 beds full. While not everyone was caught up financially, we were bringing in more than enough to cover the costs of running the house. As a result only three men paid their contributions.
Now the house has three residents and the house cannot pay this months bills, much lest next months. So the owner has decided to shut down at the end of the month. Now Riverside has lost 18 beds for men to work on their recovery. That is the biggest tragedy.
Over the last 14 months I have learned a lot. A truly successful sober living house is one in which the residents, trust, respect, support and when needed hold each other accountable. That took a lot of work to create, but in the long run it was more than worth it. I got the witness many men turn their lives around and become reunited with families that had given up on them. This is the true defination of a miracle.
And while it is sad and personally devastating to me, I have to trust God that I will still be used to help those in recovery. I am about a third of the way towards completing my training to become an Alcohol and Drug Counselor. Much of what I learned running a sober living house we go with me as I begin to assist men and women. The environment may be different, but my love and passion for helping others we remain the same. I now have a better understanding of what addicts are going through and much more wisdom on how to help.
God Bless
James McPherson
Riverside-Recovery-Resources.org
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